If you can read this you're quite awesome

I really should not be here now

2011-09-04T19:31:00.002+08:00

Haha. I should be studying for prelims, but I guess since I'm super distracted now, this would be better than (more) youtube vids.

Haha anyway well the past few days have been good I guess. Didn't really go out a lot except to a friend's house nearby heh to do very stupid stuff. But I got to spend a lot of time alone and with my family. Mm, sometimes we all just need to preserve your personal space yea?

Well anyway I've been thinking about how I, in my own personal opinion, haven't really been a good christian testimony both to others and myself. And while I know and really believe that the former is important, I do believe that its more important to first be a good christian testimony to oneself right? Like I don't profess myself to be a shining christian example, and even so I will readily admit that there are many things the people don't know abut me, in the past and in the present, that I'm not proud of, be it thoughts, or words and actions in my private life.

And then there's always this irony, that for all the times I prayed for God to be beside me and to walk with me, I never really opened my heart fully. I always thought I had set up the perfect plan for myself, and I structured it so perfectly too: Get a girlfriend in JC, do well and study medicine, finish uni and start working, get married (yes, to the same girl heh) and have my first kid before I reached 30, retire and go help others in other nations, and have a nice and happy life. And then I realised that there was something very very missing in it all: God

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain
Psalm 127:1

It always used to be "This is what I want so help me Lord". But what I've always knew but never realised was that I never thought about God's plans for me (which might or might not be what I planned) and the undeniable fact that God's plans are BETTER. I mean who can argue against an all-knowing, all-powerful God, and what more a God who loves us? I'm not saying that plans, ambitions and goals are bad (of course presuming they are according to God's word and principles), but it shouldn't be "I want X and Y.", it should be "I want X and Y, if it is according to Your best plans for me". For all I know, I could be staring at a window while God points to the open door.

Its not easy though. One question I always ask myself is: "What if suddenly God calls me and tells me to be a pastor or a missionary?" And its one of those questions that I know the answer to but don't want to say it out. But ultimately, I know that God's will be done, and so my answer would have to be that if God really calls me to it, I will go, and pray for God's strength to help me to obey.

And I also want to talk about how people handle grief. Some people resort to violence, thinking that they can pass their pain to others or objects, and others like to say it out, to pour it all out of them. But all this have their limitations right? Physical violence never works, and most of the time all one is doing is numbing the emotional pain through throbbing knuckles and bloody fists. Pouring everything out just leaves you empty inside, and well you know how it works with empty things - they get filled up again. So what's my solution?

From wiki: This hymn was written after several traumatic events in Spafford’s life. The first was the death of his only son in 1871 at the age of four, shortly followed by the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer). Then in 1873, he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the SS Ville du Havre, but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sailing ship, the Loch Earn, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone." Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.
Bliss called his tune Ville du Havre, from the name of the stricken vessel.
The Spaffords later had three more children, one of whom (a son) died in infancy. In 1881 the Spaffords, including baby Bertha and newborn Grace, set sail for Israel. The Spaffords moved to Jerusalem and helped found a group called the American Colony; its mission was to serve the poor. The colony later became the subject of the Nobel prize winning Jerusalem, by Swedish novelist Selma Lagerlöf.

Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
Psalms 55.22

After all, I truly believe that God is the only one who can really take away all the grief and negative feelings and replace it with pure love joy and peace. And something I've realised is that God has really been good to me and my family. I came to know a lot of things that happened in the past and if God had not been with my family all this while, well I might not have even been born (and that's the least of it).

And so, to anyone out there who's feeling down, may God bless you :)

Haha I feel like a preacher already.

Oh yea, there's another thing. My pastor talked about this verse today:

Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
Ephesians 5:4

Then he said :"have you ever met a person that never stops joking?" And I was like "darn that sounds like me!" Haha and then what he said makes sense. Whatever jesting, no matter how unintentional, could be hurting someone in a sore region that you don't even know! Oh well so I guess its time to stop. Yea.

New post

2011-07-25T21:43:00.002+08:00

Wow, how I've neglected this blog haha. I kept saying I wanted to post but oh well lolz.

Anyway just had a great weekend! Haha went to RWS, stayed at a nice and comfy hotel with my family. Watched a lot of movies (not really famous one though). Celebrated my nephew's one month on my Dad's side and my Grandfathers 81st birthday on my Mum's side. Went Universal Studios!!!

All this despite being sick.

Sian I kinda knew I felt weird since Thursday, when I woke up from my nap super super tired. But I thought it was just muscle fatigue from gymming with too little sleep yaknow, so I just went to bed earlier that night. Oh wells I had a headache from Friday morning through school, and worse still I had like extra lessons with my teacher after school where I was given this big chunk of extra homework to do which I decided to chiong through and finish in the library before I left for RWS. So imagine 3 hours in the library with the Sun beating down on me through the stupid window (and come to think of it the library aircon has been quite lousy these few weeks), doing headache inducing chemistry when I already have a headache. I could barely walk home that evening lol, and once I reached home I went to nap immediately. It was then that my Brother took my temp and realised it was like 39.5 degrees or something. Lolz the few hours until late dinner was just horrible. But dinner at Ramenplay RWS was good (so maybe hunger played a part in it) where I ate er rice (haha), and back to the hotel for movies and some zz. Yea won't really talk much about everything that happened, but it was fun, Universal Studios was nice but very hot (then again it beats rain huh) and well Imma gonna let me finish but Osakas one was nicer imo. Maybe it was just that the movie films (e.g. Spiderman) appealed more to me.

And I hate taking drugs (I mean like panadol here. Yea I dun support illigal drugs either though) lol.

Ok now time for the emo part. Lol everyone must have watched the super big craze video titled Jack Sparrow by the Lonely Island. And this made the world think about Michael Bolton again (the disney guy as I like to call him). Haha but I always remembered him cos of his tunes like Go the Distance and How am I supposed to Live Without You. I rarely listened to the latter though cos well I dun have the track in my music library, but I clicked it on youtube and heard it again (and heard a very deep line):

And how can I blame you
When I built my world around
The hope that someday we'd be so much more than friends
And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming
When even now it's more than I can take

Haha yea emo time.... ok finito over end stop it... or just keep trying to.

Ok now for the part where I say that I need to change in some way and do something new (lol why am I my own commentator lol).

Yea so as I was daydreaming wait I mean doing math this afternoon, I was thinking about many things that has been happening lately and I came to this realisation, one that tied everything up together:

I NEED TO GROW UP!

Huh grow up? What? Yea thats what I mean!

Of course, its not as if I haven't grown up, in fact I do proclaim to be somewhat mature (I still have a good long ways to go though), but I guess I've just been clinging on to my own childish ways for too long I guess.

One would be suanning people. And no suanning is not bullying IMO. Just look at this convos:

A: You suck
B: Stop bullying me :(

Yea thats bullying

B: How do I on this tap?
A: Er (turns on the tap right in front of B's eyes) like duh
B: Stop suanning me la basket

Yea quite obviously if that constituted bullying all sportsmen should be getting the death penalty yea.

Anyway my policy to suanning has always been only to suan fake things most of the time cos like the real things may hurt or sting yaknow. But lately I've been realising that there's really been a very huge grey area between the fake and the real, and I don't want to step into there... And well I guess while I've always said that suanning is a good way to get people talking and interacted, well maybe its time i move away from this and start getting into the more HTHT kind of convos with more people you know? Yea HTHT-ing with more people is healthier IMO (note the word "more people"-HTHTing more with one person can just be very weird). Yea ok so I shall try a new policy: no suans can last more than a week. When something happens yea just a passing joke would be fine to get people laughing, but not too long till it gets annoying or potentially dangerous.

And two: No more "gaying" around (ok that word sounds just so awkward that I shall call it X from here on). Yea its nothing like what it sounds like la, in fact its unfair to call it that lol. You know like how in the past boys being boys would like wrestle with each other and playfight with quite somewhat physical contact and people would go like "so cute!" or "they are just kids, hopefully they don't get hurt". Yea I kinda continued that way into my later years of childhood and then now it was suddenly like you know "wrong", filled with accusations or disgust. Haha I mean WTH man I just wanna have fun with my friends rite not as if I wanna end up naked with all of them the next morning, there're totally no sexual intentions behind this (even writing this makes me sick). But I should stop. Why? 1. The people who see me doing this might misunderstand (that's their own problem right? Its their sick minds that cause them to view some innocent interactions as such - if they can think something so weird out of two people playfighting I hope they don't watch WWE) but well they misunderstand = my disadvantage right =.= 2. The people who I banter around with might get the wrong idea (most don't though like its quite obvious) and 3, which is the latest one I've come up with: The people doing it to me may have the wrong intentions :S Ewwwww ok no thanks.

Yup so if all things go well there will be a more mature and (hopefully not) boring me in the moments to come.

I miss being young though, when I could walk this Earth thinking everyone was nice and all, where my parents made me think that I was the handsome-est boy in the whole wide world... Until reality came, slapped me in the face and laughed as I lay on the ground bleeding [ok I just had to put that line in cos I thought of it today, I don't really think that way all the time though haha]

Ok bye!

Half of June is over!!! DDD:

2011-06-12T15:14:00.002+08:00

...As I lay in solitude, oh what's a boy supposed to do?
I shake the very thought of you, me together I remember
Late nights when I stayed up late all I do is wait and wait
You're never coming home to me, that's the hardest thing to see...

Oh wells all this is getting me so very confused :(

On another note, half the holidays are over! Which is :DD cos the holidays haven't been great so far I mean its just studying and all, but its DDDDDDDD: cos I'm nowhere near finishing studying for my common tests!!! Arrghhhhhhh haha then again maybe its cos I've been on the com too much.

Haha I feel that my ability to resist the temptation of turning on the com has increased haha. I can actually not use the com until like close to 10pm on weekdays now! Yay and I've been doing other stuff too like playing piano, guitar, bass. I can't play my trumpet cos no mute :( Haha I'm thinking of like re-learning the violin though cos like its quite wasted that I've not like really bothered about it since my string ensemble days like 7 years ago lol.

Yea haha time to mug abit, then its off to worship rehearsal! Get to play drums again :D

p.s. wow I didn't know so many people read my stealth blog D: haha hopefully this number doesn't rise or I might have to be more careful with my posts lol

Imma gonna study

2011-06-06T02:14:00.005+08:00

Haha had an... "interesting" first week of the holidays.

Well considering the holidays started off with the end of one of the most important things to happen to me so far, the 30th students council, perhaps I could say it was a double blow that my school band "career" closed its curtains on me last Tuesday. *sob*

Yea I can't believe I originally wanted to sit out of the concert. I guess with all the stress and other stuff going on pre-syf I was kinda wanting to relax and slack off, but I'm just so very glad that I got the chance to enjoy music making again. Because after all Band isn't about SYF to me, its not a competing CCA, its a performing arts group. So we perform.

Yea so anyway I kinda came an hour late for practice on Monday cos I remembered the wrong meeting time sian. Not that I wanted to though I was actually preparing ot come early but coming early late still kinda didn't cut out haha. Oh well I was supposed to move the chimes with my friend but too late so he moved it with some other people la so he was pissed off with me. But honestly I think he should relax a bit la like I really really didn't intend on being late I wanted to be early somemore, and the job was done, like I reached the band room to move whatever stuff during the moving time before the warm up and it was already gone, not as if I just went straight to the PAC rite... I mean I'm the type of guy that looks at character and intent, and it was very clearly not my intention on being late and not following my responsibility heck if he hadn't decided to move the chimes without me I would have made it on time to move the stuff with him in the end lor. Yea but of course I would understand that he was a bit upset but what I can't stand was that he said something like "its because of people like you that we can't start on time" like so its suddenly my fault. And we actually did start on time so... Oh well its over and I don't really care la just let it be haha. Yea so we practiced and that's that.

Tuesday was THE DAY TO PLAY (music)! Yea quite stupid la cos we were planning section lunch and I fought very hard to Northpoint cos I was like I can be there in 10 mins and its so close to my house I could walk if I wanted too haha (more sense to direct bus though) yea and when I finally got it settled I was like YEAH! Then I remembered I had a meeting in the morning in school regarding house CIP. So I would have to go from Khatib to Marymount, then back past Khatib to Yishun, then back to Marymount again. Oh well self jack haha. But ok la the meeting was quite productive basically dissemination of work and talking nonsense haha. Then I wrote buddy book and wore my contacts and read some notes and it was off to Yishun.

[Speaking of contacts, wow its been ages since I last wore them haha. But I was very surprised at how fast I managed to put them on lol. I think my eyesight got worse though :( Anyway I got complimented on my specs-less face, and someone told me my specs makes me look nerdy )8 really? haha]

Yea lunch was quite good, ate at the Jap foodcourt thing jap seafood! The scallop type not the messy must dirty hands type haha. And the mango yakult was ok la quite cool. Then we finished on time except for my section leader who was the earliest to come but finished last and made us all late haha (section leader somemore). The warm ups was quite stupid la cos we warm up so fast then stop for strings to prac effectively killing our lips. Rehearsal was all about octaving down haha, then it was time to last min prep for concert! Dinner was fine, then I did booth duty, and my brother bought me KOI! Yay. Haha then after a toilet break it was time for bands performance! Honestly, while I enjoyed myself I think we could have done better. Like overall the band screwed up a bit, and our sections lips all died and couldn't whack anything lor haha. But the pieces were fun la and the audience enjoyed it in spite of some brilliant people who decided to turn off the PAC aircon and zaoing home leaving the audience feeling warm and disgusting and the performers sweating like animals under the stage lights. Haha then came the talking to friends bit which I enjoyed cos of the nice reviews haha oh well its great to know that people enjoyed your performance rite haha. And I'm glad they came to support :)

Yup then it was post concert movement which was the most disgusting haha. I packed up quite fast and was like the second guy back at the PAC. And I decided to single handedly move the chimes back to the band room with the exception of help to move it for 2 flights of steps, well because I didn't want to waste time, and because I wanted to prove that one could be helpful and dedicated and well do extra stuff without complaining/making noise/you-get-what-I-mean lar haha. And finally we were done! Following that, some friends and I rushed down to Orchard to catch our midnight kungfu panda 2 movie! Which was great and nice. Then came the cab back home :)

Well I missed band farewell so the stepping out of the bandroom kinda meant the final goodbye for me, I'll never step into the bandroom the same I guess. Well while I really enjoyed the experiences in band, I guess I'm a little disappointed inside about my incompetence at playing music, well I did hope I would be better at the trumpet but oh wells, I guess I still can practice and improve with my own trumpet. But for what? Personal goals aside, I've let myself down for too many concerts. Sigh.

On a happier note, I can simply say that band was ultimately the best thing that came out of my year 1-6 years. Yea council was awesome too, prob the best thing that came out of the past year, but band was the main thing for the previous 4 plus years cos RIPB just well didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to I guess (it was great too and I learnt a lot from it but the H1N1 outbreak and everything spoilt a lot of the experience). Yea I still remember when I joined RI I was already intent on joining band. Haha cos I wanted to play perc after learning the drums for one month and after I saw the band perform spanish fever one day I was like yea this is so awesome I wanna play drums yea! Lol then I got into band (not that difficult since it was my first choice anyway) and then I was placed into... euphonium. Oh well I was quite disappointed at the start and contemplated switching instruments but in the end I decided that oh well I must be in euphos for a reason, MO must think that I'm more suited for it so I went along with it. And so I began learning the eupho and practicing with it, really trained a lot of foundation like air support etc. Especially helped that I was very enthusiastic and positive about some of the boring practices haha. And then came Sec 2. Lol my SL thought that my tuning was very lousy and everything and didn't think I was a good player I guess until he tried my eupho and realised that it was super screwed up lol like each valve is out of tune so can't correct it. But I pulled through my first SYF and got a gold so I was quite happy. Malaysia trip was very fun too, really helped me bond with my batchmates. Then came sec 3. Taking over my previous SLs instrument really helped me and boosted my standard haha. I also got the chance to like support my SL for solos during prometheum and play nice songs yea. And Japan trip was very great like I'm very glad that I had the opportunity to go, one to see the band culture in Japan and be impressed and inspired, and two well for a nice holiday :) Then came the end of sec 3 where I was given the drum major post. Well since Sec 1 I wanted to be top 2 in band well because I was passionate and really believed I had the drive, responsibility and enthusiasm for it. Yea so when I didn't get RD in sec 2 I was quite sad about it so I really worked hard for it. Yea as in not that I work for the position but I wanted to work hard to deserve it, to be a good eupho player and prove to myself and others that I deserved it. And I dare say I'm one of the few who would actually go for extra practices on non CCA days since Sec 2. Yea ok back to the story. So I got the chance to take part in NCO camp, a real eye opener for me. And then came my band break for OIP and 2 weeks later I got transferred to trumpets! Yea my conductor wanted it so well I was like half hearted about it because I really liked the eupho and I felt that if I stayed on I could be quite a good eupho player but well if the band needed me to switch and support another section I would do it, especially since I had a role and responsibility above myself. So there I was in trumpets, and within the week I had bought myself a mouthpiece already lol. So came SYF, which was quite messed up thinking that the only played trumpet for 5 months guy was the one conducting quite a few sectionals and playing solo parts and blah blah. And then we got silver. Which was very disappointing. Haha maybe I'll talk about my theory as to why band isn't as good as what it used to be. One day. Haha then came RSB. I made the decision to stay in trumpets cos 1. I liked trumpet music and the fact that it was a more versatile instrument 2. I already bought my own trumpet 3. There were like 3 batchmates in eupho already so it would be quite stupid to have more euphos than trumpets. Yea sometimes I feel that I should have went back to eupho cos I would have definitely reached a standard higher than my lousy trumpet playing now but I don't regret sticking on to trumpets one bit. Yea there was play'10 and then somewhere around that time I made the decision to run for council, and I got in, knowing that it meant band was gonna have to take a backseat. Still, there was A Tempo, SIBF, National Day, Teachers Day...... so much memories and experiences I owe to band forever. And then came 2011. Well during the initial pracs for SYF I was quite MIA I'll admit because of ISLE and Open house and Orientation and IHC and Musicfest and everything but well I tried to make up for it by working hard during pracs, so in terms of knowing the score and practicing my part I was like just on par with the basic expectations. But somewhere near the last 2 weeks of SYF the stress and everything woke me up I guess and somewhere inside I turned on the band mugger streak and I really started focusing and analysing my part pretty hard, and well I guess it should have been something done a long time ago but I managed to settle whatever I needed to do and how to play it in time. And SYF came and we got a Gold. Considering that one 1 school got honours it was a very good achievement, a nice sweet ending after I got silver 2 years ago in an SYF with like I dunno around 10 honours? Yea. And then came concert which I talked about already.

Yup so as I reach the end of my journey I really have to thank MO, my teachers in charge mainly my RIMB teachers who I had to work very closely with in sec 4, my batchmates especially Johnson, Kirk, Yifan, Linjin... my bandmates too and everyone la. I'll definitely continue to prac my trumpet and I really don't want anything memories and experiences to fade although I know it'll prob happen someday :'(

I think it sucks that it's only after things end that we realise really how much more it meant to us than what we previously thought

Yup there concludes my band post and on to my holiday. Wed was a break day, and then came thursday and friday - H3 field trip to Jurong Island. Thursday was ok la, my friend pangseh-ed me so I had to go alone with AJC, which could actually be a blessing in disguise cos I was forced to interact with them and I must say I really enjoyed talking to them and learning about them and their school. They're really a bunch of cool people. But program wise the first day was boring. Then came the second day which was more fun cos there was actually an activity and through it I managed to know not only the AJ people but the AC people more too which was nice :) And seeing the labs in action was cool too.

Then came Sat and Sun where I was supposed to have band farewell but I couldn't go because of family holiday. Well I guess I'm quite sad I had to miss farewell but well I forsook (is there such a word) family too many times already for important things so things like farewell which was kinda more fun oriented cannot already la. Yea so family trip went like this:

Slept late cos of last minute packing. Then frenzied rush to ferry terminal cos Dad's car spoilt and Taxi pangseh-ed us. Yea ferry terminal really brought back fond memories of CCAL camp last year haha :D Then off on the ferry to another ferry to the cruise ship. Which turned out to be a floating casino in the open waters. Seriously all I saw was gambling machine after gambling machine. And I don't gamble so it was quite reatarded. My entire family just spent the time on the cruise eating at the restaurant (and the food wasn't good even lor) and at the lounge watching performances. I, in celebration at my recent 18th birthday, ordered a Singapore Sling. Which sucked. Seriously I didn't like it the alcohol was really quite strong and left a disgusting feeling in my throat. But I decided to finish the whole glass anyway beating my Mum in the process haha. Didn't get drunk though, but I guess the alcohol helped me sleep on the 1 hour plus ferry back to shore in Malaysia which was good la. And then it was bus to dinner and bus to hotel, ending the tour for that day. Slacking in the hotel room was ok, watched some retarded animal movie haha and ate snacks and played mono deal and won for the first time yay. Yea then it was back to sleep. Morning was quite late for breakfast then checking out and off to lunch and then shopping! Yay I made the wise decision to ask my Mum if could split up so I headed off with my brother and bought stuff I usually wouldn't have bought if my Mum or Dad was around like bought quite a lot of T shirts and stuff. Of course they were on offer la haha. Then shopping was over, off to dinner and back to sunny singapore, except it was at night so no sun and I found out that in the day er orchard was flooded again so yea haha lol. And then we had late night movie watching X Men! That was fun.

Yea so that ended my first week of holiday, and now its time for me to study! Yay hope I will too haha. Ok bye!

Final night

2011-05-29T17:59:00.004+08:00

And so the day has finally come. While investiture may have already seen the ceremonial end of our council term, and handover the more practical side of things, it was ultimately final night which forced us to accept that this was the finish line, and come to terms that when we woke up the next day things would be different forever.

And yet somehow I know that even now 3 days later I've not fully come to terms with this yet, because somewhere deep inside I know that if I did I would be so totally broken, lost and tearing inside, much more than this constant swirling of emotions I have even right now.

~It's... really over is it?~

Honestly, final night wasn't quite like I expected it to. Well the rushing of cards during pre-final night was very expected, and while I can understand like people rushing cards in the LT, what really pissed me off was how people could still be strolling in 1 hour late. Ridiculous, how people would want to spoil the night for others and themselves. Then came National Day. Honestly, I guess National Day was quite some time ago so I guess thinking about it didn't really bring anything more but fond sweet memories to my mind, and of course we laughed at some of the funny jokes we remembered. But nothing like some other functions where people were crying and everything. Haha kudos to our Nat Day ICs who cut out the banner as cards for us, haha to think about it the banner was perhaps one of the most significant symbols of National Day, with the funny sizing showing the inexperience but the bright red and painstakingly written lyrics the passion and dedication that made up for it.

Then came the other functions, where I mostly spent my time eating and rushing out cards. Sian orientation was another thing that pissed me off haha. While I can understand that they were very emotionally charged and wanted their moment, it was really not fair to use up an entire hour or more. I mean if there were technical difficulties then show the video afterwards lah, after all I think it was the spoken words that mattered most right? I could see how unhappy open house and some other functions were waiting. Oh well. Then Take 5 was upsetting too, not because of the comm members but all the other councillors that wanted their alone time somewhere else or doing some stupid preparations outside. I mean if you wanted to do it this way then why have an LT just split people up and run it concurrently right? If we want to do this as a council then just do it as a council don't spoil the experience for others just for yourself. But when we started Take 5 was quite funny haha.

Yea I didn't really watch open house beacuse our house D was outside. But oh well although that seems quite selfish I agree that perhaps we could have done it in a better way but it was the only function where no one from the house D was needed and it wasn't like there was no one else in the LT (which was kinda like how Take 5 was). Oh well. But we showed Sam the video so well it was good, it was kinda the precursor to the department sharing afterwards like it reminded us of all that we did.

Then back to the LT for council camp. Not much to say la but kudos to the CCICs I think they did the best job of all the functions. Given the worst circumstances they still did a good job.

Then we split up to our respective houseD-epartments haha. While I would have preferred we did it as a council I can understand that we were running short on time because of irresponsible councillors so oh well. The first part of the sharing well was ok, and we were starting to fell sad until we were called in again sian. For some weird (thats the only term I can think of it) secretariats thing like it wasn't even reminiscing it was more like some party game or something it was weird la. Then came the video (which didn't bring about as much emotion as expected, maybe because the environment wasn't that inducing and all the technical faults) but still I thought it was meaningful. Then the poor presidents speeches which was super short, I think the presidents did a good job and well I kinda guess they sacrificed all they wanted to say for all the time wasted which wasn't even their fault oh well. And then out of the Lt for cake which well I guess was supposed to be meant to end final night but was a rather awkward intermission for it. And then down to the carpark for the batch activity thing. Oh well again bad lighting made the candle idea impossible so we just formed a circle and sang the batch song. Again there was time wastage (sigh), but even so I thought the song could have been a much better experience. Like we were singing and I was thinking about all the times we had together and you know the feeling like 'I don't want this to end please its been so great' and all the emotions were inside me and I was starting to emo and then people started jumping around WTH. Oh well maybe to them final night was about having fun and partying. But not to me. And that wasn't what the batch song meant to me. Not that night.

But the most important part of final night, the part that mattered most to me, was what happened afterwards. When my houseD went to the canteen tables and finished our sharing. When Sam showed the video and all around me everyone was crying. Like babies really. Everyone but Arun and I. We could all really feel the emotion. Like all of us who were so pissed just now were simply letting ourselves go and showing how much this mattered to us. And the passing of gifts/notes and everything. It was really what final night, council, meant to me.

And at that moment and the many moments to come, one thought was on my mind. Why wasn't I crying? I mean I could really feel it inside, but nothing came out. Like while the climax for everyone else was in their emotions flowing out through their tears, my climax was simply all my emotions draining out somewhere else and.. I just felt empty inside. Dead. Lifeless. I wanted to cry but there was nothing left in me to give out. And for the next 2 days I... felt guilty. Was it that this experience didn't mean as much to me as it did to others? Was it because I wasn't a good councillor? All these questions haunted me at every fleeting moment. But then as I watched the videos over and over, I came to this decision. It wasn't that this experience was the same to me, but I guess I just let all the tears fall on the inside. After all truthfully its been ages since I cried. When I wanted to, nothing could come out. That doesn't mean that I didn't have the same emotions, the same sadness. And my councillor was important to me because I wanted to and I refuse to let any guilt taint what meant so much to me.

And so it ended. My council journey. To my fellow 30ths, thanks for the beautiful memories. And sorry if I did anything that upset any of you and sorry for the times I wasn't there, when other things were eating away at me. Thanks for the beautiful pictures and sorry for not being there in all the pictures. There's so much to thank you guys for and so much to apologise for too. And I guess that goes for everyone right? But in the end I think its beautiful, how so many imperfect people came together into a perfect council :) Oh well I'm not making sense anymore argh.

And it was my birthday last week to. Oh well honestly I was a bit sad that people I expected to wish me didn't, people very close to me too. But then again I was very touched by the people who did. And ultimately birthdays are about being thankful. Thanking God for creating us, and thanking all those who gave us so much to live for.

Thanks everyone :)

New stuff

2011-05-21T22:08:00.003+08:00

Haha wow I haven't touched my blog in a long time since ISLE. All my holiday trips, back to school, open house, orientation, IHC, holidays again, CTs, doing badly for CTs, SYF... They feel so far away now.

But thats not the reason why I'm posting. Its because next week is a major moment of my life. Like wow. So its time to look back, and then look ahead.

Hm... if I would describe my life, it could kinda be summarised by a day i had this week. So after school I went with Yifan and Lin Jin to starbucks to enjoy their half priced coffee, then slacked around a bit and went home. The thing is on the train ride, it was all so bright and sunny till it reached my station where the skies were darker. But no rain. So i was like yea good weather to walk home in :D So wrong. Haha apparently it was already raining at my block but i didn't know, so like for the first 2 mins of my walk back it was nice and all, but for the next 10 mins plus it was disaster. My shoes were totally soaked, my pants too. I was feeling very disgusted (like you noe the feeling of squishy shoes urgh. And then I went home. Yea end of story.

Hey wait I thought this was about my life so far? Huh

Haha yea it is. Well 3 things. At the start of this year, and the years before that actually, my life was really about friends, making close friendships especially with the band people and in JC the councillors. Yea so when I took on the train ride that was this year it was really so bright and sunny. And when life felt too good to be true, maybe it was really too good to be true. I didn't think of the cool weather as a precursor for the rain, i thought of it as an opportunity to step out onto the pavement. And I was so wrong. Maybe people didn't really see it, but there was some time this year I really felt so down, so drained and...dead inside. Its like I should feel sad, but I just lost whatever little feeling that was left inside me. During that time, I heard the worst 'no' (maybe not the word, but that was the implication) that I heard in my entire life. Crash. And on the outside I still had to maintain the impression that I was totally alright, that life was good, doing my thing you know making jokes and irritating people while I was just a bleeding mess on the inside.

But eventually, I went home. Home to family, to my brothers and sisters I have in school, to people close to me. Yea. I now realise how much all my friends mean to me, and how you don't have to be in the know to be supportive by just being there.

Of course, this doesn't mean that I'm super good and all happy now. There are still random moments when all the emptiness comes back, yea I mean if i recovered so fast from something like that then it probably wasn't much rite? Yea but I know inside I'm changing, getting older, getting more mature. I don't want to be a kid any more you know? Yea.

So here I am standing at a new chapter of my life. And you know despite all I said before that its not as if my life was a wreck that I hate. No i'm actually very happy with all I have. The pain and sorrow pales in comparison to how thankful I am about all the things in life. Band and council especially brought so much happiness in my life. Of course they didn't come without their pain sometimes, but it was good being in such awesome CCAs/families. Really good.

And what now? Well I guess I just want to build up relationships. Like I realised many of my friendship have been very superficial. Like while all the jesting and joking makes people very comfortable and close friends, well if thats all there is to it then the friendship is kinda meaningless. So yea I want to build up friendships, to be able to be the shoulder, the ear, the counselor. After all many of my friends come from school (actually I think its like all my friends), yea and once we say bye bye at the end of this year I don't want them all to just say bye, pack up their bags and never talk to me again. Yea. And as for other relationships... well lets just say I not going to settle for second best, not going to look at new alternatives. If it isn't going to happen this way, then well I guess I wouldn't have it any other way.

Well I typed for so long already, so maybe I'll just share a video. I guess it kinda reminds me of my past? Looking back at life. Don't know what resonates more, the lyrics or the way the song is played.

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Yea pretty much my life. But I just don't really agree with the last line. Like something tells me inside it might happen, but somehow I know that I don't want it to happen, and I would rather much wait forever. But can I wait forever? Will it change anything? Am I holding on to something that is forever lost? And if so maybe I just want to keep holding on? Oh well.

But its been great...er... living I guess. And if people are gonna think that I'm some suicidal emo freak well I'm not. Its just that everyone has many sides to themselves, and I guess there isn't any other place I can let this side of me out haha.

Yea. Wow super long post. And I still have one more post I was thinking of doing lol. Byes!

Wow I'm actually back

2011-05-19T23:07:00.000+08:00

Haha thought I would edit the design of my blog a little. Hopefully will post over the weekend cos well next weeks gonna be special haha :D

ISLE

2010-12-12T21:35:00.002+08:00

Woah back from ISLE trip.
For a self recap, the trip went like this:
Day - 1:Fly to Kunming, fly to Lincang
2: Bus to Cangyuan
3: Bus to Wengding, visit cultural village, setting up camp, visiting village, tanks
4: Wash gravel, visit primary school
5,6: Wash gravel, teach kids
7: Wash gravel, educate villagers
8: Villagers chit chat, wash gravel
9: Wash gravel, teach kids
10: Clean up gravel site, say goodbye to kids, dinner and "dance" at village
11: [sick] Pack up camp, bus to Cangyuan, visit high school
12: Visit high school, reflections
13: Bus to Lincang, plane to Kunming
14: Visit minority village, R & R
15: Home sweet home

So many thoughts, so many lessons, so much more to learn, so much more to give.
And I learnt a lot about myself too.
Anyway I'm gonna work hard to improve and do better. Yea! (haha i might do some form of proper reflections another day)

New stuff

2010-10-26T22:23:00.002+08:00

Woah its been a while, and its been so long.

Promos was... okay I guess. As usual, not reaching my full potential (not really near it actually), should have gotten 3 As and 2 Bs (plus my chinese C) but ended up with 2 As 2 Bs and 1C. Oh and I kinda realised that it was actually possilbe to get A for econs (no i didn't get that), so I will def work harder towards that. Chem was... oh well after the paper I kinda knew that my chances were super low considering my 18 marks unanswered question. But I had the hope of a miracle A. Oh well I guess that wasn't to happen. But it was a lesson. Time management is very important. And I'll really have to master it for econs and chem (and bio too actually).

Oh well I didn't really study for chinese so the C was warranted, but I kinda thought I would do better for GP, given that I actually spent like half a day finding stuff. Oh well my languages were always the worst, but I guess I'll have to work on it slowly and bit-by-bit.

But taking a step back, I'm thankful. 2 As is something good already. And I cleared the requirements for Orientation AND H3. So thank God :)

Then came IHC. Oh well all I can say is we had fun, we worked hard, and we were...well...unlucky. Most of the rules weren't in our favour but everything was overboard and fair so there's really no one to blame. But good job BW and the other houses! (haha i spent the past few days holding the IHC champs trophy cos I knew it prob would have to be returned/kept by the school.

PW was...very tiring. I'm so glad we're reaching the end of it. Really so glad.

Haha chinese and OP left. Jiayous everyone!

Last lap

2010-09-19T15:48:00.002+08:00

Woah here I am at the last lap of this year, with promos, PW, Chinese A levels looming ahead.

But "through it all", i will be "still" and rest in the "power of Your love" :DDDDD
Haha those 3 songs i've known, and loved, for years.

Oh wells, i kinda remember making a plan of what i wanna do after eoys last year, so i'll do one now.

New things i wanna learn: Dance, Electric Guitar, Piano more extensively
Things i wanna get: Shoes (my first and only pair of sneakers is almost broken already), hoodie (waiting for class/band one to materialize), electric guitar (its prob gonna be impossible).

Yea who knows if i'll be able to fulfill anything on this list its not really the most important things in life - whats most important we all do know.

Oh well absence does make the heart grow fonder doesn't it... But what happens when principalities and emotions conflict? The one in the middle suffers huh...

Oh well RIMB invest two days ago. All i can say is all the best. They'll need it. But something in me says they can do it. But only if they really want it. They: not just a few people, but each and every one of them. Oh well. Not as if its gonna be a walk in the park for RSB either. Byes

SOmething extra:

Lol this was one year ago in my old cell. Made some tempo errors here and there sigh.
But how things have changed. I'm not in that cell anymore, but i'm serving in church. My drums standard has changed too, personally i feel that i've lost out on the technical aspect but perhaps i've improved on musicality (?) not so sure...

Thoughts

2010-08-24T23:39:00.002+08:00

Messages to two people on my mind now...

To person A: Hmm one year has passed already huh? But I'm still ignoring you (not that you would want it any other way) and all I see on your face is a look of perverted disgust and hate; perverted because you brought everything wholly on yourself. When you last sent me that message, you were talking about how great you were and how far you were going to exceed all those you hated. But where are you now?

But I still remember how you used to be such a great person and friend, how you showed great promise and potential, and all the plans I had for you. But then you turned all that enthusiasm into a senseless drive to prove the right people wrong, and then to justify and spread such actions. But its never too late. I'm waiting and hoping that one day you'll suddenly realise how wrong you were, and I'll be there ready for reconciliation. Not that it'll be instant, but it'll be for sure.

Thinking more about person B though, and the message is kinda different too.

To person B: Hi. It's been extremely awkward ignoring you wherever I go. And lately it seems that you've been ignoring me too. But I'm really sorry because i guess i started all this. In my fears of reaching too much, i've distanced myself up to the point where i'm not really a friend anymore, am i? And I really don't want things to stay the same or turn worse. But I'm confused. And anyway you might not feel the same way I do. Perhaps the only reason why i think we're apart is because I keep magnifying the issue. Perhaps to you everything's alright. I hope it is. But I can't do anything now can i...

Oh wells just felt like saying stuff out to people, stuff that I would otherwise never say in real life. Oh noes promos coming soon!!!

Life

2010-08-03T21:21:00.002+08:00

Wow life passes so fast. 1st year of school is already close to 75% over.

Oh man life is really just passing by too quickly.

While some stuff happened in my life i want to highlight.

SIBF Gold 2nd place!!!! I still can't believe it. 2 months to prepare was simply a rollercoaster la, also in the middle had to stop for CTs+preparation, den i had so much stuff on e.g. A level chinese listening and oral that it was just sooooo rushed and i had to always come late, plus the fact that i was playing flugel as well as trumpet. Wow. And to be truthfully honest i was very unhappy with my playing on the actual day, thought i blew it totally (pun intended). And those around me could see me emoing the whole after SIBF period. But then the results shocked me completely. WOWOWOWOWOW! I suddenly turned estatic la seriously. Craziest 1 hour of my life in a long time.

Post-mortem: Thank God for the intervention, and listening to the recording i realised that either (i)I actually sounded good from the audience and what i heard was not right or (ii)the audience could not really hear me play badly. But still, I know i really really need to buck up on my playing. SYF's next year and i really want NO regrets!

But then again the ssue about my trumpet playing is very displeasing to me. You see its just that my standard now is simply bad. It wasn't that i didn't know the score or practice enough for SIBF, cos prior to that i was playing well. But at that instant, my lips kinda gave in, couldn't buzz properly, tone sounded whine-y, etc. Did I know what notes to play? Yes. The mood of the music? yes too. And well the normal person would simply say: ok then practise more. But all i can say is how much more? COmparing myself to the other band members, something's not right. I don't think anyone can say that they practised much more than me (well of course some will practise more but not by a lot). After all since sec 2 i practised my instru 5 days a week, in the period before concert/competition it was 6 days somemore. SO no one can say that i didn't practise enough. But what do I have to show for it? Everyone's so much better than me! Seriously, my improvement rate is stagnating! And I'm not happy! I expected myself to be playing scores reaching high C comfortably by now, but just reaching G in scores is difficult and ugly sounding. Whats wrong????.........Well all I can confort myself with now is the thought of how i was a lousy eupho player until i almost reached sec 3 where there was nothing short of an exponential jump, so maybe it'll happen to me too. But when? How long more? Hais...

Anyway CTs were... not satisfactory. But better than expected. Must work more on everything.

And my precious bass got problem. I managed to solve most of it but I dun like the sound on one of the settings. Hopefully it'll get better soon.

Oh well I'm still quite sore after my rant about my playing. I think 1 in every 2 posts has seen me ranting. But I still hold on to the hope that things will get better. With time.

Tiring day

2010-07-05T23:39:00.002+08:00

Woah today was a super duper tiring day.

Started off in the morning going to school for Nat Day meeting. Well can't say anything more but theres a lot of work to do. Den at 12pm i went to AMK hub to grab a quick bite (mcspicy meal) and then off to watch Toy Story! Which was very nice, made me think about my own old toys. Oh wells. And then it was back to school to waste 2 hours. Playing table tennis with Alvan, playing bass, and then i went to Bugis to jam. Since we were epicly late we didn't get to jam enough so after da-baoing food (zinger meal) it was off back to school to practise again.

SO after 1 day, i went to school 3 times, ate two chicken burgers and had a lot of fun.

I'm tired.

Schools in less than 8 hours and that means CTs are gonna come back.

Hais.

I'm tired.

2 competitions plus Nat Day plus Isle stuff. Sometimes I ask myself what am I doing??

But at the same time, I know one thing. No regrets. No regrets.

Oh wells. Chinese Oral soon somemore. ok gotta go.

Byes!

Random

2010-07-03T22:52:00.002+08:00

Haha typing this cos its half time of Germany Argentina. Haha.

But with the end of this week comes a close (klose haha) to my first ever JC 1 CTs. Woah well I will definitely regret not working that much during the holidays but I think my last ditch effort was still quite okay, if only i extrapolated it a few weeks back. Thank God bio wasn't those type of just spam info paper, if not my one night st-udy-and morning mugging wouldn't work out. Chem was quite doable, Math too, but econs... sigh. Never mind it ok i haven't thought about GP yet so things are still fine. Chinese was ok, i would say a better end to the CTs.

Hm getting insomnia during the CT week was sad la really. Just lying there doing nothing. But i must say the stress of CTs really got to me... People who i cal night owls started sleeping earlier than me lor, and when i logged out of MSN always got around 5 other people online only.

Anyway I'm still trying not to think about stuff that might make me happy now but regret later. Chew on that. Oh yea just had bak kwa super nice and juicy :)

Anyway not much people read my blog and i guess thats good i dun want to publicize it so much anyways.

Ok CTs are over, take a rest now, start chionging well before promos. Thats the plan.

Random again

2010-06-22T19:30:00.000+08:00

Woah this is good

Random

2010-06-22T18:59:00.002+08:00

Siala this song transposes from verse to prechorus, again from prechorus to chorus, den again back to verse. Tried to use this once in cell but gave up cos i needed to change the key somemore =/=

One song that I really liked when i was younger. I can still remember the emo moments singing this on the bus while my classmates were all playing or chatting with each other during malaysia trip. Its one of the songs you feel like crying as you listen to it

Another song i used to listen to a lot. Its less emo, puts more of a smile on your face. And yea i think i sang this on the bus too. Quietly to the person i might never know

Overcoming inertia

2010-06-21T00:30:00.002+08:00

Woah its been more than a month since i've been here! And boy what a smashing time it has been!

To start it off, it was my very own birthday on the 24th May!!!! Yay! It was quite enjoyable but to be truthful it wasn't as big as i wish it would have been... Not big in the sense of a mega birthday party but in terms of people coming up to wish me or singing birthday songs... Well like no one in my OG wished me (personally i mean, like almost everyone wished me on FB so i guess i'm happy abt that), esp because it was a Monday and well I had to go for ISLE. Of course the ISLE ppl sang a song and got a cake too so it was great i guess, but to be absolutely honest i don't think i know you guys very well, but of course 2 weeks in China without toilet bowls are gonna change that :) Den cos of the stupid chem O selection test, the class didn't sing and give presents in the morning before lessons started and the only time everyone could do it was a extremely rushed session immediately after math lecture. It was... well... bittersweet I guess. And people that I really wished to see come and wish me happy birthday in person didn't come (... yea, you didn't wish me in person, did you...) Then I had lessons full day till 5pm, and my family had this little birthday dinner at cafe cartel, which was absolutely delicious. I ate twice what i was supposed to eat i think. But yea there was this general feeling of unaccomplishment, that there was so many unfulfilled aspects of this birthday. But I guess I'm the kind to keep all this things to myself, and i'm not gonna go complain or tell others but yea... Anyway it wasn't so bad I'm also grateful for so many things like my i dunno close to 200 FB wishers, 3E who got me er the dog although i have no idea which part of my desk jungle it is situated in, Davin for the present, ISLE peeps for the cake... maybe I don't sound so happy because my joy isn't exactly coming from the people I would expect it to come from.

Anyway soon after that was CCAL camp! (deliberately skipping GP ct) Bottoms up was an awesome group, not really bonded at the start but we kinda blended in well after a while. The campsite was better than expected, food was not, but the activities were fun! Especially enjoyed well everything, it was truly a wonderful learning experience for me. And the most beautiful of them all were the stars, a mesmerising painting in the sky, brilliant lights and dots of white (but i couldn't watch them with you could i? cos you weren't there). Anyway I enjoyed myself to the fullest and I consider it something that i won't regret, like OBS.

And the weeks following that were mainly focused around band. RI and RJ are combining together for SIBF, and while some/most/almost everyone is not really happy with playing with RI, well I guess I'm still quite okay with it, cos I felt that I didn't manage to help RIMB improve as much as I would want to last year due to some ahem-people who caused trouble which I had to resolve instead of helping the band more-ahem hiccups, so I guess this is another chance to help RIMB la. Anyway I have few complaints about my section apart from 2 people who are not playing anyway. Not that my section's pro, just that I find that they are willing to put in effort and work hard without complaining and causing trouble like somebody. Anyway two new developments- I'm playing Flugel for SIBF! Its quite fun, can make emo tone on the horn but mouthpiece resistance is crazy, can't even buzz properly on the mouthpiece. Speaking of mouthpieces, my new mouthpiece came! Its cool! Lol the mouthpiece i borrow from Quintus was described by Yamaha to be suitable for principal ORCHESTRAL players, the one i got has a even bigger cup. Oops. But i like the tone la, a bit more mellower, and my lips can play the higher register without sounding as fuzzy as with smaller mouthpieces. Yea so jiayous everyone for SIBF.

And mugging. Enough said.

What do you do when there's someone you can't have but really want to have at the same time? You sigh. ANd life goes on, mustn't it?

p.s. finally did something to the appearance of my blog. Raindrops are cool. They look cool. And they hide tears.

Tired

2010-05-16T00:41:00.001+08:00

Super tired, schools seriously comin got a climax. BTW I totally love RSB and 30ths :)

Need to train my musical standard esp trumpet. Especially in time for SIBF. My mouthpieces on its way :):):)

Byes need to slee-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Stuff

2010-05-02T23:29:00.002+08:00

Woah haven't posted in a long time,

Oh well life's been busy.Superbusy. Like really busy.

First there's council. <30ths! :):):) Council camp was really those type of experience that you'll treasure for life and yet not want to go through again. Can't say anymore on the issue or I'll have to kill you. :0 Yea and life after that hasn't been very free either, with internal elections and whatnot. Anyway congrats to the exco who will not see this message anyway.

Then there's band. Play was a blast, and A Tempo's coming in 1 week+ 3 days. Ok to be truthful I feel so unprepared for A Tempo. My playing standard's lacking, I dun think I have the stamina for a full concert and I'm not even sure what parts I'm gonna play (final arrangement hasn't been finalized yet). Knowing the pro-ness of most of the band ppl they'll still be able to pull through but I on the other hand don;t want to be left in a situation that will leave me with more regret than joy. Oh well. Then there's prometheum. Which I am even more unprepared for. Anyway RIMB's standard has seriously deproved since I was in... sec 2. Yea every year has been worse, mine included. And I'm very impressed that Mr Oura's still in RIMB, if I were him I would have left long ago. Its not the standard I'm really bothered with, its the lack of passion and musicianship. There are people who join band because they have no choice, and then there are also people/persons who just go for band to cause trouble and make things difficult for others and themselves at the same time because they are STUPID.

...Ok enough ranting for now...

Anyway life has been moving so fast there isn't even enough time to blink. And my social life hasn't been any better. Still single, like 99% of the people in my school =.= But truthfully I don't foresee myself getting a GF in a long time. Its not that I'm a heartless person, but the story of my life goes like this:

starts to like someone->seriously like someone (as in really really liking someone) -> Remind myself that she doesn't exactly fit my requirements -> Become emo but still like that person -> That person gets distanced from me somehow and life goes on, albeit in a more emo way

Requirements? Well a CHRISTIAN GIRL who is DILLIGENT and NICE, in her own special way. Why so? Well I have my reasons. Christian is because of religious as well as logcal reasons? Logical? Well I wouldn't expect a girl to understand that I won't be able to go out on certain days because of church, or that I don't spport certain type of behaviour, and conflicts will occur when I try to share with her, conflicts that friendship can withstand but not that kind of relationship. Dilligence reflects on ones character, and nice-ness reflects on one's personality. But hey its just me.

Yea. I kinda think I'm currently somewhere at the last stage of the cycle right now. But of course no one is gonna know about who it is and when it started, I'll just say it never happened. The above 3 paragraphs were all a lie, for the record. Yea just for the record. Oh well so emo. I need to cheer up. And wait for life to go on.

Anyway serving in church worship today was a blast. Much better than the previous time, though I still can improve in many ways.

2010-03-16T13:40:00.004+08:00

Just a little something for you. Played on the drums last year

Today

2010-03-15T22:13:00.002+08:00

The events that happened today gives me t2o valuable lessons:

1. I'm stupid (not in the IQ way but in the fail way)
2. God has been so merciful and gracious with me, which is more or less why I ain't crying terribly like right now

Holiday homework is still 0% complete. Apart from the econs lecture homework which was super easy and IMO rather satisfying to do, that is.

And my performance in band has been nothing short of a disappointment as well as disappointing. I know what i'm doing isn't pleasing to Mr Oura or the seniors and truth is I dun like it as well. Take today for example. I reached school, took out my trumpet and as i played i felt that my lips were very hard (also means very unflexible). So I couldn't pitch high notes, and the tone quality overall was way far from optimal. So i struggled through some songs, slacked a bit and spent most of the time spamming other random things. That won't seem like I'm a very dilligent person, but seriously what i did was 1. Try to learn the song 2. Rest when my Bb can't even keep its pitch anymore 3. Aim to stretch and condition my lips as much as possible through random playing, cos the score won't do that for me IMO. But yea it doesn't look rite and it doesn't seem rite either. I need another method of doing things. On a side note, Quintus's mouthpiece has been quite fun to play, maybe i should buy another mouthpiece, then I'll have a 1.5c, 3c and 7d=more choices :). Not that 7d was ever a choice though lol.

Oh wells hopefully I'll learn, learn to be wiser so that I'll not hurt others or myself anymore.

Council Interview

2010-03-02T22:48:00.003+08:00

Council interview was not bad, no questions that were weird (eg do you prefer apples or oranges). Praying every step of the way according to His plan for me.

Speaking of which, I need to control myself more. I'm not happy with the stuff i think, words i say, things i do.

Anyway life's been okay... so far. Class party on friday!

Wondering

2010-02-28T16:37:00.001+08:00

Maybe I'm too hard on myself? But I'm not gonna lower the expectations

Stuff so far

2010-02-28T02:19:00.003+08:00

JC's been really busy like really... (bimbotic moment)
Anyway the irony of it all is that most of the business comes from applying for stuff. I'm quite confident that I can balance out everything though, just that I need to be more disciplined in whatever I do and not be too distracted.

I miss RIMB. Yea I miss the bad playing, poor attitude, etc. Dunno why though. I guess I liked the old me in band. The one who would comment on other's playing instead of be commented on by others, the one who Mr Oura could depend on instead of the one being the greatest liability... The one who would inspire others instead of the one who makes others sigh in disappointment... I'm pretty sure most of it is only in my head though, and pretty soon I'll get out of it. Must keep the optimist specs on even if it might be slighty misty (haha geddit).

Actually why am I so lame? And sometimes why am I so crazy? Maybe its my way of escaping from it all - the stress, the worry, the disappointment.

Sometimes I ask myself what the heck I'm doing. Why am I still in band when my playing is so CMI? Why do I want to run for council again? Why take BioRA just to get suanned? And ultimately all I can say is a very ah-beng sort of "I like lor". I'm still in band cos I love music, I'm running for council cos I like the stuff they do, I'm in Bio RA cos i still have passion for the subject, even if I might not be the best (or better still be the worst) in whatever i like.

Two sad stuffs this week. First is that I'm not playing for musicfest. Not very sad about that though cos I'll prob burn out by next week if I took part just that I would have enjoyed it. Second is that I'll prob not be going for RIPB PI cos I'm not in the EXCO... Oh wells too bad for me I guess. And one problem is my council interview timeslot. Didn'tmanage to swap with anyone and the council ppl haven't replied to my request to change (not swap) my slot yet... Although seriously la its almost impossible for me to change considering that I can only have a wed slot and most people can't take my slot and those who can would've been k-oped by some of my other classmates in the same dilemma.

Woah long post not bad not bad. Ok cannot so emo le must be happy.

Should see the music video for this super retarded

Another week gone by

2010-02-20T21:35:00.003+08:00

Wah time flies! So fast and its a saturday again!

Well take 5 was awesome, and so was CNY! Although I didn't get to do alot of stuff that i wanted to do (like gorge in food, play lots and lots of cards) I guess this CNY was more "deep" than the rest, in terms of getting to know people more and everything. Spent the eve in Brandons house with the batch, very fun, den on the actual 3 days had a lot of family (and extended) family time. Was very meaningful I guess. This week was also application week! As in fill in council, ISLE, RPPP, forms. Hope that can get into all though, just gotta pray and see I guess. Today was Band Orientation! Super fun and really a blast (as in not a trumpet blast but yeah) Got to know people better/more people. Very enjoyable. Not thinking of work though. RIPs a bit tough, especially with choosing the project, but i think that once we work in pairs 2 heads will be better than one i guess (cue song "two is better than one") Lol.

Things so far

2010-02-09T22:39:00.002+08:00

Woah the past 2 weeks has been nothing short of crazy-in a good way though.
Orientation was awesome! Good programmes by the seniors and lots of fun in my awesome OG (Galactic Superstars! Piu piu piu!) Haha I'll prob never have fun this way again... (Emo moment)
11S03E has been awesome too! I foresee a wonderful 2 years ahead, despite the epic sadness of my timetable... But I kinda knew what i was getting into, RA+Chinese. Never mind, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Yaya and Take 5 i coming soon :) whee!

Lol

2010-01-23T16:41:00.001+08:00

Hihi everyone! (prob means 1 or 2 ppl)

Anyway just came back from band practice... Hmm i guess there was the good parts and bad parts.

Good part: batch interaction. We played some games during band prac and well i guess getting to know each other is a continuous progressive thing, but this was a great start. Next was playing games at the rooftop of J8. Fun card games and interesting forfeits which may appear on facebook, depending on the camerawomans discretion :)

Bad part: The actual playing itself. My form was quite bad, and the most embarrassing moment was when i played first for swsc. Which included a solo and another two note solo, both of which i messed up terribly. Daniel didn't even need to say anything, I know it was horrible. Hmm... well believe it or not it was my first time playing a first trumpet score in concert so oh wells, not so good. Very embarrassing but at least its good that none of the trumpet seniors were around, i can only imagine russel or weiqi or jinjun............... 0.o"

Oh wells at least i got some time to a tempo. I WILL NOT, I say it again, WILL NOT play 3rd for every song! Or i will be very sad :(. After all its my first concert playing the trumpet. Oh wells need to practice more, try 2 hours of prac at home for at least 3 days a week... If possible.

I must try to improve 3 things: Tuning, Range and Tone-mine needs more flavour, sound very dead and flat. Anyone know what exercises I can do at home with my (harmon)-muted trumpet? Hopefully my stamina will increase along the way too. Aiyoh the future seems daunting, especially since schooll's going to start soon. I can only pray that i can work on my studies and my playing at the same time.

Its not a nice feeling to be the worst in something you really like... Cos its not the opinions of others that make you unhappy but the way you fail to meet your own expectations. To my trumpet playing: never gonna give you up~~~~~~ :)

Byes

the wonders of the human voice

2010-01-20T00:29:00.001+08:00

New post for the (not so) new (anymore) year

2010-01-18T19:09:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone!

Yays Im finally gonna update my blog!

Wah JIP has been quite slack so far, just talks that end early and mat h bridging lessons, which to me are too easy. What do I mean? We were given this worksheet with all the sec 4 topics i think. By the time the teacher was covering example 3, i was done with example 15, which was the end of the worksheet. Whats worse is that the worksheet is supposed to be for the length of 3 lessons! Well not trying to boast that i'm very pro, cos i noe much mroe proer people than me, but seriously those stuff i didn't noe were already explained with examples on the exact same page as the questions themselves...... Oh well I guess it would be better than the alternative though... imagine it being super difficult and super fast... I prefer slow. Yes I do.

Anyway got my scores for church worship yesterday. I pray that I'll be able to meet up to the expectations both musically and availability, and still have time for my studies and everything. Speaking of church my baptism is on the 30 Jan!!!!! Yay!

Oh band has been really fun too, looking forward to playing such beautiful and "big music" that I haven't really been getting lately.

Anyway to end off, i have a message:

Josiah's tips to a great life #1 - Spend some time thanking God for the most minute things in life. Even when you're tying you shoe, thank God for the shoe. Eating food, even just enjoying the cool air. Learn to have a heart of gratitude in all that you do. Know that things are a lot better than they could possibly be, so thank God. Anyway new song!

cool vids

2009-12-19T01:31:00.000+08:00

Yay

2009-12-09T16:51:00.000+08:00

Nice

2009-12-03T23:48:00.004+08:00

Yay

2009-12-02T16:39:00.002+08:00

Haha I fulfilled my post for this month :)

Anyways thank God for a wonderful day yesterday!
Woke up late, den went to sembawang shopping centre, got a new pair of specs (although having a non-blue specs after using the blue pair for 3 years feels strange... Den changed phone :) got a nokia E52 now, can do so much more stuff yay! Den went to udders for wonderful ice-cream, and finally went to thomson plaza to rent movies. Watched pink panther 2 last night very funny.
Wonderful days rock! (Oops that sounded very unlike me but nevermind)

I like this song

2009-11-30T23:32:00.001+08:00

Bridge

2009-11-30T23:23:00.002+08:00

Oh yea today super awesome bridge hand (ok not so awesome but still considering all my other hands today very good).
A,K,Q,J,7, and 2 spades.
After i used jack the rest all no more spades liao so i won a set with 2 spades (btw i played no trump) Den ace dimes which flushed out the king and queen dimes. And some other stuff. Yay playing cards i so fun i must play more yay! (Yup everyone knows this post is to make the impression that i post alot)

Stuff

2009-11-30T22:48:00.002+08:00

Wahh now got so much time but never blog much. So what I'm posting now.

Anyways hols has been super fun xD. Only thing thats suffering is my sleep cycle. For example: Wed prac in afternoon so wakes up at 12 noon. Thursday same. Den fri and sat wake up 8-9am? Den Sun wake up 1.30pm. Den Mon wake up 8am. I seriously need to sleep earlier even if i have nothing on man.

Anyway RJ band has been very good. Very different from secondary school in a lot of aspects. Attitude wise everyone might be quite slack but they still possess the discipline to work hard without people needing to pressurize them, and after all the participation is voluntary. Playing standard also higher, one prac <3 hours but can go through 2 songs and more. (oh i just realised my less than 3 sign is a heart sign making me look super gay. But i'm not.) Anyway my standard has been deproving even though i go for all the pracs since i graduated... I think. Ai yoh i guess must self prac more, cos i dun realy get to work on expanding range/slurring/tone and the works. Just whack until tired only. Anyways its fun. And the seniors are quite fun also. Its great that My batch is growing, at least got the usual 4 to mrt to jurong east ppl :) Except that Johnson will be shifting to his own house! Can't say i'm jealous, its not easy living alone, oh well God will be with him lor. Speaking of that now i have quite a few issues pertaining to church.

Firstly is abt me joinging jazz club/ wanting to joing at least. Cos it ends at 7pm and my cell starts at 8pm at yio chu kang. So in order not to be late i die die must leave early/ on time. But i dun want peer pressure to make me stay back later, so unless i'm disciplined enough i guess. Den also how to play for worship? That one is a must considering all the musicians going to army.

Secondly is how to coordinate cell worship. Its like doing as puzzle liddat. One combe cannot, another cannot. Den I need to lead to sing and bass guitar rite? Den drums how? So far no one has been quite up to task, except one? But thats only one person and there are coordination probs... Aiyoh pray that new people will rise up la.

Thirdly is church sunday service worship. Ai yoh that one easy: just need to put in effort and go for the audition. Cannot slack anymore.

Lastly is playing trumpet for sat service. Except that the person in charge said that high C is a very common note and considering that i can't play that more than 5 times a day i say i need prac.

Summary: Prac like some dunnowat. Except will i do it during the holidays?

Extra prob-what should i play if i join jazz? Bass? Drums? Trumpet? Or do something super radical like play trombone? Hmm cancel that out la no way. Hmm problems problems problems. But it'll be fun either way la so its ok.

Yay my church first worship album with all original songs is out! Lets see one song!

Haha. Hopefully i can get cell worship recording up here. I'm quite noob at these type of things.

Bye for now!

Stuff again

2009-10-18T17:00:00.002+08:00

Haix, having exams makes me miss playing the trumpet again. Added with seeing the brass in church play (btw i think the horns own ours by 1 million times)... Soon, soon.

If I can play like this I wouldn;t be bothered to take eoys xD

Stuff^4? or 5

2009-10-11T21:20:00.002+08:00

They're in the Jap market too. xD

Sometimes I wonder why Singapore's arts scene isn't as popular and I have a few reasons why:

1. Population

a) for performers. Imagine in every 100 ppl there are 10 talented ones, and only 2 of them choose to become commercial performers. For somewhere with a lot of ppl no prob but Singapore? Sigh

b) Audience. Its a fact that ppl support ppl of their own country more so for Singapore? too bad i guess

2. Culture

Singapore is a rojak. So songs will be either English, Chinese, Malay or Tamil. That means that Singapore is competing against the U.S. and British, China/Hongkong/Taiwan, Malaysia/Indonesia(? maybe), India markets. Meaning we likely fail.

3. Environment

Singapore trests some things as very important and some as not so. In US so what is someone is a construction worker? The reason is because of our economy lifestyle blah blah blah. Nothing wrong but this results in musicians choosing other jobs.

4. Stuff (yay i said it again)

Number 1 is the shockingly high prices for equipment in Singapore. No money to get good instruments blah blah blah.

Next is where to practise? Jamming studio so expensive and strict (only 2 hours liddat)=not conducive. Try to perform at home will get killed by neighbours.

Ya so nuff said
Bye

Stuff

2009-10-07T21:01:00.002+08:00

Haha third time in a row using that title. So original in unoriginality.

Which leads us to question and say that sometimes the best of something is when its not best. Perfectly imperfect, Flawlessly flawed...

Anyway have to mug more for eoys which starts next week! I think. (oops)

Den now that sebastians gone to army. His party was quite fun though played drums for one song-tears.

Yes I know i sped up and everything i'll work on that.

Anyway now have to lead worship this week. Imagine all the worship leaders are gone now. Bryan and Ian aren't in the cell, Uncle Mike's busy with his work, Sebastian and Darrel are in army. Truthfully though I've just been waiting to lead, just that I was waiting for someone to ask. Quite disappointed that I'm not in charge of lentor music though... After all I'm the one with the most experience and everything. It just gonna get very complicated when I try to organise things that my dad might not agree with and everything. Is it because of my age? But does age equal experience? Haix... nvr mind i'm not gonna let all this stop me, just gonna serve God with all my heart in any way I can.

I dunno why just can't seem to get enough of F.T. Island. Unlike some other groups where they have one or two good songs per album, the pro-song percentage is actually quite high. My latest fav song from them is from their second album. Find it something that you can listen and emo forever.

Stuff

2009-09-30T21:10:00.002+08:00

Seems like I have no good titles for my posts... lol.
Anyway the dmp period has been a good period for me i guess. Enjoyed the modules i took up, those play play ones like floorball, studying topics i find interest in like med physics and ideas 401. Chinese also not bad actually, had some mid-autumn festival celebration thing today, basically the teacher got a lot of stuff for us. Double yolk Mooncakes xD. The tea was good too. Actually the teacher that i feel my class under-appreciates is Zhou Lao Shi, cos she actually does a lot for us despite our nonsense.

Anyway, this period has helped me transcend from play phase to studying cos i've actually begun to mug a bit. If it was normal school no way man, oh well bad habits i guess.

Anyway perhaps its distracting but i keep thinking of all the stuff i want to do after exams, which is wrong considering that i should be thinking about exams. Anyway, musically i want to be able to improve in all my music:

Piano-from noob to ok
Guitar-from noob to ok
Bass guitar-from ok to pro
Drums-from ok to pro
Trumpet-hmm i really dun know where i am yet, lets just say i want to be 120% prepared for RJ

Which reminds me that I will also have to prac eupho after exams if i wanna play for rwinds. Actually haven't really lost it yet, i tried it out for a while, tone still can make ok with some effort its just reconditioning la. But RJ wanna play trumpet already if not all my money and effort wasted. Never mind play both la.

In terms of other skills I wanna know more languages, mainly Cantonese (cos itsmy dialect and i dun really understand) and a bit of korean/japanese (ehi wanna be able to understand the stuff on youtube without having to add eng sub to all my searches lor).

Physically wise I want muscles xD. Must work out more la later ns got to go in early i'll be damn sad lor.

And of course sometthing i want to do all the time is be closer to God. Read more pray more lor.

And I wanna teach band sec 1s. The least we could do for not teaching them as much as we would want to during the year(long story) would be to do it now. Anyway I wonder whats gonna happen when Joseph Danial Kenneth goes OIP in hols lor. Hmm...

Anyway I found quite a nice video while i was er surfing the net(oops).

[VERSE 1]
I should've done better when you were here
I should've told you when you could hear
that morning which had no difference
I already felt by the ring which woke me up
it's too late to put back the time
One last cry. oh please god try
please don't let her die on me I know it's a lie
I told you to wait for me to make you happy
you told me that you'll wait till I rise to the top
please endure it bit more, don't leave this world
God please pretend as you've never saw it just for once
it must be a mistake, god is not also perfect
he's trying to take the most precious thing in the world

[CHORUS]
8:45 you're going up to heaven, the peaceful world where only virtue exists
8:45 you're going up to heaven, if you can hear me..know that I love you
8:45 you're going up to heaven, the peaceful world where only virtue exists
8:45 you're going up to heaven, if you can hear me..know that I love you

[VERSE 2]
Holding your speachless hand..I just yell out that you might hear if do so..
please wake up, open your eyes
One last cry Let me say good bye
please don't let her die on I know it's a lie
even the world hates me I'm your best
no matter what people say you never blamed me the question less love..
that's the thing like God which makes miracle, the perfect, perfect beauty after God
The most beautifulist thing in the world
the most precious thing in the universe my love

[CHORUS]
8:45 you're going up to heaven, the peaceful world where only virtue exists
8:45 you're going up to heaven, if you can hear me..know that I love you
8:45 you're going up to heaven, the peaceful world where only virtue exists
8:45 you're going up to heaven, if you can hear me..know that I love you

[VERSE 3]
where did you go whithout your last goodbyes
My heart is filled with pain
Tho I drive 'em out with a deep sigh
Only pain remains
I see nothing in this empty world
But I try to smile
You might be sad if you see me so sad
I promise you I'd never ever forget you
I'mma let go of your hand

I like this guys music, actually Korean hip-hop RnB and the like is not bad actually, Epik High's quite good thing too.

Stuff

2009-09-20T23:39:00.002+08:00

Seems like RIMB is over but not band.

1) My very own trumpet! Yay yay yay! Got it the monday before invest. Yamaha discount - $100 off and a lot of free stuff, atleast 60-70 dollars worth. The model is supposed to be one of the best for the price range too. Yay yay.

2) I hope concert. This was just 2 days after invest (I was a stand in for Danial). Cool thing is that I never expected to be back in band action after such a short time. Went there without any preparation, practised without drummer for a while (more like arranging the song), then drummer came about 3 hours later then we prac-ed for about 10 mins, then it was time to swing! Not that bad though, I have recordings of the performance.

3) Rwinds. Well I'm not really good (can't even play through a scale), partly because I didn't practice much basics in the past (practice for syf and teaching others came first) and also because I don't have as much time to practise nowadays well but I guess I'll improve in time.

Anyway I'm now quite crazy over this K-pop band. All I have to say is hey, at least they play their own instruments so there.

RIMB Investitute 09

2009-09-06T17:55:00.000+08:00

Well Johnson put it right. The first feeling i felt after returning home was empty. And tired. Really tired. Relieved? Maybe but worried at the same time. A myriad of emotions washing over me.

Finally it over. All that blood sweat and tears, all the sacrifices. But at the same time its too soon. All the fun, all the music. I'm just very confused.

I guess thats the thing with change. But it has happened and its time for me to get it over with.

Batch pieces were ok la. I think a lot of us have a problem with nerves. And tuning. Considering that my batch couldn't get one proper practice for the batch pieces i would say we were quite ok liao.

Ceremony was lame :). Haha I couldn't look at Mr Oura after the percussion joke ><. And the BM joke failed IMO. I imagined it to get more response.

Section lunch was awesome cos it was free. Got to really interact with the section mates as friends. Movie was ok, we overordered popcorn. One large box for me and Bryan, one large for Johann and Yifan. At the end of the movie my box was almost empty Yifan's half full. At the start was Bryan and I eating, 15 minutes into the movie it was just me. I kept eating and eating even until the end i was still eating lol. No pics sadly. I also think that UP was a bad choice of movie considering that it was very emo. G-Force would be better. But it was fun la.

To the band of 2010. Enjoy the experience, be it happiness or grief. For soon the emotions fade away, all that's left of them are the memories, the colourless pictures in our heads.

To my batch. Good job guys, we might become distanced from each other but thanks for all that we've been through.

Oh man I sound so emo again. Hope no one sees this.

Classical vs Rock

2009-08-25T18:49:00.000+08:00

Dunno, but I prefer the guitar video.

Whats in the future?

2009-08-25T18:22:00.000+08:00

Well seems like a short while ago when I would ask my batchmates who's gonna join RJCSB next year and I would get close to 100%. Now looks like no one's 100% sure he's joining. Everyone's like either I dun want or I'm not so sure and I think this attitude's even rubbing off me. Suddenly everything's changed. Maybe the stressful experience this year has pulled us away, or stories we've heard over at the other side, or just well maybe people start to feel sian. I think mainly its because of the stress this year, trying to motivate people who come just for the cca points or even better people who dun come at all. People dun want to join next year cos they don't want the stress and pain but to me, I want to join next year cos I believe that its gonna be different, for one everyone's better and also those who are there are actually committed and passionate. But if my friends don't join then it will be so lonely and everything... after all band is not just about music, its also about the common activity between you and your friends and the humour and experiences that come with it. Arrgh really don't know. Then there's also the thing about not disappointing Mr Oura and my seniors, and the fact t hat someone special is being invited to come down next year. Then there's also the issue with my trumpet playing standard, I really dun want change section anymore but I need to get much better...

Also seems that Rwinds isn't working out as much as I thought it would. I thought of it as more as an avenue for people who like band music to come together and have fun, doesn't matter if you're lousy its the experience that counts. But now seems that others have different ideas that we have to respect, and there are so many limitations. I really dun noe if I'm willing to play eupho for Rwinds, also almost none of my batchmates joining. Then theres the point of disappointing the others in Rwinds... So complicated la.

Praise looks good on you

2009-08-23T01:12:00.002+08:00

Practically grew up listening to this type of music - Older but more beautiful. Nowadays some of the newer albums the song's aren't as good, I would say...

Ai yoh lyrics on the vid already la dun waste my time =)

Hosanna

2009-08-23T01:03:00.002+08:00

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes

I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest [x2]

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

Hosanna in the highest.........

Truthfully, everything I am, I have Him to thank. And I think this song rocks

random

2009-07-04T00:43:00.002+08:00

I'm only doing this because someone asked me to.

Well there's been many changes made to school, and some make me quite well, i dunno disappointed maybe? Well, they cancelled (postponed indefinitely) our concert and youth week, if this goes on likely all org comms can go on holiday. But they resumed afternoon classes...

Looking at it from a broad view, ACS, MGS are doing school as normal, Hwachong's on holiday (i heard even competition training is cancelled) and well, we're in the middle. And that can either give us the best of both, or the worst. Well...

At least i've been able to go home earlier this past week, but my lunch costs have more than doubled. Lets see: Mon-subway $7, tue-s11 $4, wed-macs $5 thu-macs $4 fri s11+bubble tea $4. Average meal=$4 plus? Normal lunch in school=$2.50? Continue this for a month and i'll be losing $30? wow

Well so i just stay and home a wish i could be doing something as pro as this:

Ah well, I'm still very noob, prob worst in Rwinds =0 Which has been postponed indefinitely too... Oh well

band camp

2009-03-18T15:20:00.004+08:00

Band camp was a really *erm* memorable one for me.

Started off with me waking up at 6.30 when sec 4s were supposed to reach school by 6.30. Not late though, reaching the band room by 6.59 and then almost immediately scolding ppl for being late :). Announcement of groupings (shall decline to comment on the group leaders who were late), bag check, blah blah blah... Then it was off to musical exchange! Woah I didn't know there was so much to hosting an exchange. Moving percs, instruments was something basic, although i didn't due to obvious time-related issues... Good thta we had sec 1s to do some manual labour. Then had to go turn on the av system, mikes, etc... Sadly didn't manage to get the keyboard so Jie Qi couldn't show off his piano prowess...

Warming up was, well so-so. I kinda got a glimpse of how good the other schools were when they did some imba warm-ups, while we just did basic exercises and not good at that though. Ai ya nvr mind la, lets talk about the actual thing itself.

First band: RI
Not so good... Tone was i thing the worst thing. Once it started i was like oops how to make tone sound nicer ah? Band room and hall very different sound leh. Then it came to part G. Without tuner I could only guess whether I was in tune, but propably wasn't. Also thought that was supposed to play it soft. I guess it's my fault la, not looking at the trumpet 2 score (i play 3, must i'm quite undecided on that though) to see the volume expected as well as the tounging but going by the sound of other section mates. So i played it soft and slurred all the way. Damn. Feldermaus would be ok, apart from the tuning and the fact that not everyone was follwing the conductor.

Second band SCGS
Wow playing the... exact same songs as us! Played them with different interpretations though, showing us the difference a conductor makes. I'm not saying that whoever's version was better though, just that they were different. I would think that they were better than us technically in some sections, but i'm not trained to pick out more specific stuff.

Third band: ACS(I)
Always had a good impression about them, and didn't change today. They practice hard, and they played well. Quite puzzled over choice pieces though. Like if the soloists suddenly unexpectedly not avaiable then their syf will fall apart rite? Not cursing them though, i would love to see them do well. Good music is good music and should be appreciated. (just a thought, if our own soloists not available then we... erm... oops) Unless got ppl who are as good as them, but if like that then by impression would go up by another level. Those players were good la, if only we had a bassoon like them (wait, i think it's more like if only we HAD a playing bassoon).

Fourth band: NYGH
Had heard from patrick that they were good, and the first time i heard them play (since the exchange 2 years ago which i kinda dun remember) i was like: they are good! Interesting thing is that once the started their choice piece i was thinking: hmm, sounds oceanny(when the ocean glows, the song which RIMB played last syf and Anderson are playing this year), and as they were going through their piece i was like:quite oceanny and when they ended i was like:definitely oceanny. Turns out the composer is the same guy. No wonder they were more or less the same. Especially the ending. They played the song very well, liked it, just like i like ocean. (random activity:count the number of likes)

Fifth band:RGS
Well their overture sounder like, erm, ours? No prizes why though. Except I guess they played it better, like i think their trumpets were better. Their choice piece was well, not as good as the one Mr Oura see, the dvd of Jap bands one. Well, neither was ours though. Anyway Mr Lun (trumpet tutor) told me that schools under Mr Oura tend to have a sudden boost nearing the competition and that he was not really worried that we would do well. Oh yea, we got the fuglehorn today ;). So fun to play with... perhaps its the theory of buys and their toys?

Now that exchange is over, we can now go on to the camp proper.
Started off with, erm prac? During sectionals, i tried some harmonizing exercises (inspiration from ACS(I)) but didn't really go deep into the song. They were all so tired. Well I was too. However during concert I perked up, but everyone else was well tired so it didn't really go that well.

On to station games. Quite sad that the skit ppl didn't even know their dialouge so the skit was quite fail. Also didn't manage to suan Patrick enough. Anyway regarding the stations I was in the band room so didn't know how they went. The returned seemingly to have been having quite a lot of fun though.I think they enjoyed it. Well emotalk was greatly reduced though, mostly because of the time.

Movie was fun, still laughing and enjoying the music even though i watched it before.
Washing up, was ok... It was quite funny to sleep in the band room. All those in sleeping bags were like: its so hot and those who weren't were like its so cold. Hahaha (I was a sleeping bag person)

Sentry duty was good. Managed to talk to Kirk about quite important stuff. No comment here.

Waking up was even better. All camps should be like this, stepping out of the band room to bright day instead of dark just-before-day. Sectionals were like, erm i wasnt at sectionals? no comment here too. Concert was slightly better, thats when I realised that I didn't know what I was playing. Concert over, it was time to end band camp! A lot of prac, but fun and meaningful nonetheless.

What's band camp without post band camp? Trumpets and trombones went Northpoint Swensen for a delicious dinner, not to mention that with my mums membership card I got a drink(which had ice cream on it) for 1 dollar 0.o

After that, we walked around to waste time. Using the dinner receipt, I got myself a wonderful $10 worth of vouchers (not sharing that though), c'mon I reserved and arranged the payment which was quite irritating and a mug (ah thats to be shared, dunno how though).

Finally we went bowling. This was something new, compared to the previous years lanning (which I always missed) Bowling was quite fun, highlights being Shu Yuan's (a.k.a. Go Shu Yuan go) blue ball, Lin Jin (a.k.a. LJLP/LJLP uprising/many others) infinite improvement rate, Yi Fan's (a.k.a. binary/baka) everchanging score ranges and Zeyang( a.k.a. Zeyang burger/Philo ing/philomonster) throwing the ball when the pins were still being arranged and got stuck as the ball was travelling along the lane. Winner was Danial (a.k.a. Mann Filter/Fledermaus) with a score of 81 and 84 and the highest score for a round being Luyu (a.k.a. road rain/roadkill) at 86. I (a.k.a. Josiah sux/woah josiah/woah haisoj) managed to get 85 for the second round but only got i think 50 or less for the first round) After that, I took my 2 min walk home. [did i forget to mention that I planned the outing :)]

Anyways it was fun and tiring (went back home and slep for close to 12 hours), and hopefull no one will get sick. Bye-bye!

Life from then to now

2009-03-10T21:43:00.002+08:00

It's been a while. A long, busy, tiring while.
Tests nonstop for the past few weeks, going for band almost every day, not going for band cos of PSL or RA stuff... Basically having everything to do. Not that I really complain la, band is......Meaningful, I guess and I enjoy learning stuff, even if like Bio RA is quite difficult.

Band has been... well not very fun for me. I could say I was happy cos the band is playing better as a whole, but I will have to wait to see the consistency of this. Personally, I not satisfied with my standard. I know hoping to play like a sec 4 after like 4 months is quite difficult, but I'm just trying my best to improve. I don't really know what is driving me now, in fact I don't really think much when I keep spamming notes all the time, trying to get higher and higher... With my standard now I can play my parts very comfortably (c'mon trumpet 3 is like so so low range) but that would never satisfy me...

Went to Toa Payoh care centre (yes the same one band went last year) for CIP, realised that its not the tye of service that matters as long as you do your best and commit to it.

Aiyoh gotta study for bio test liao...

p.s. I wonder if anyone is actually gonna read this lol

I'm Back!

2009-01-17T22:12:00.005+08:00

Finally posting again. (It's all Johnson's fault)
Anyway this year has been busy, busy, busy...
What makes it worse is that I signed up for even more things: Business@school, Leadership studies program, Interact club... Am I trying to kill myself?
Band is another busy aspect of my life. Working even harder now for some reasons:
1.SYF
2.Change of sections approx 3-4 months before SYF (Which explains the skin change)
3.Have to set a good example for my juniors by going for every possible practice.

Which means that by adding all these up, the average times I can expect to be home are:
Monday-Slightly before 8pm
Tuesday-Slightly before 6pm
Wednesday-Slightly before 8pm
Thursday-Slightly before 6pm
Friday-Slightly before 8pm
Saturday (yes even saturdays)-Noon, starts later though

Oh well... That's not including business@school, which I have to do in my free time.
Am I trying to kill myself? Maybe.

Well, was looking at youtube recently and found some vids of a tempo xix, a concert I wanted to but couldn't watch. So here goes

Someday I will perform at the durian. Someday.

so far

2008-09-20T20:47:00.002+08:00

Hmm have not felt like posting in a long time...

Anyway this past week was very new to me, considering that I was having DMP for the first time. All my courses seem to be very interesting, considering that I only have 3 courses. The sad thing is that in my timetable is so sadd... I dun have any free days but like 4-5 days with only one session...

Hmmm also had a lot of fun in the band room doing batch bonding activities... Come to think of it i was super random on thursday, did a lot of stupid things both in the PB room and the band room... But I'm not telling

Anyway saw this video online its quite gross but I do it all the time in band, just... faster

awww

2008-09-13T14:07:00.002+08:00

Made the first mistake of rimb exco '09 yesterday: Failing to inform teachers of any changes we were planning to make. Putting myself in the teachers shoes, I now realised that I would have been angry as well... Well now that I know what I have to do, I will have to be talking to the teachers about another big issue......
Then second mistake (which was personal) was failure to manage my time, in the end late for cell......Hmmm well at least next week's gonna be be different :-)

today :)

2008-09-10T22:36:00.002+08:00

Whoa today was very interesting for me... I got to call Mr Oura, collect library scores, fall in the band by myself, call Mr Oura again, and get everyone out of the band room and fallen out between 6.10 and 6.25, all for someones korean drama... Whee!

New day, new life

2008-09-09T21:50:00.003+08:00

Wow today was quite an exciting one for me...
Started off with volleyball. It seems that I have improved tremendously from the last time we played because now my team actually manages to win stuff! I guess I was more confident and less afraid of the ball lar...
Then english... hmm just watched my friends debate sooo still ok lar
Then chinese... Our teacher gave us the last pieces of work for the whole year!!! Quite slack too
Math was the only sad one... Seems that cos I slacked too much last term, can't seem to follow witht he new worksheets-->so almost slept in class... Really banking on the DMP period to mug... Cos its not that I dun understand it's just that I need the practice
Assembly was very inspiring, almost cried when hearing the guy say his story, perhaps cos he was crying too...... but felt really inspired by it.
After lunch was opening the band room and photocopying the scores. Was a quite relaxing period, after going through the score once and practicing a bit my batch started some batch bonding activities to promote intellectual development... but what happens in the band room stays in there O.o (copied from someone). Aftter that was macs and home...
Tomorrow no Kirk so I have to take over the duties... A bit scared yet enthu at the same time... Well its gotta happen someday

Bye!

Dun noe why, but I came across this song randomly and quite like it so...

2008-09-08T23:03:00.000+08:00

Came across this song randomly a while back and i really liked it, dun noe why I guess its the lyrics and the emotion, so here it is:

Some People Laugh
Some People Cry
Some People Live
Some People Die
And Some People Run
Right into the Fire
And Some People Hide
Their Every Desire

But We Are The Lovers
If You Don’t Believe Me
Then Just Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies

Some People Fight
Some People Fall
Others Pretend
They Don’t Care At All
If You Wanna Fight
I’ll Stand Right Beside You
The Day That You Fall
I’ll Be Right Behind You

To Pick Up The Pieces
If You Don’t Believe Me
Just Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies

Woahhh x 2

Another Year Over
And Were Still Together
It’s Not Always Easy
But I’m here Forever

Yeah We Are The Lovers
I Know You Believe Me
When You Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies
Cause The Heart Never Lies
Cause The Heart Never Lies

A journey of a thousand miles began with today's step

2008-09-08T22:13:00.000+08:00

Band today-first practice of 08-09 RIMB -first time we saw the score...
Personally, I felt the score wasn't very difficult; one look at it and I was confident of playing it (at least me playing my part) well for syf... Maybe its my part, but I felt that give or take the holiday practices and I would be able to play the song properly...

Anyway quite happy with attendance so far... at least I see a big block of people falling in despite a certain some people... And delighted with the way Sec 3s are leading, a lot of open discussions, ideas... that's good i guess.

Ai yoh still got a long way to go though

What happened yesterday

2008-09-06T13:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was quite an interesting one for me.
It started out with me doing...(drum roll).... SS proj! Ok this might sound very boring, but it was fun for me cos i got to play with windows movie maker. Brought back memories of primary 6 cos the last time i used it was then. I remember it was during a workshop and my movie got 2nd best! One of my only trophies I have so far...

Anyway after that I slacked around before evening came and I went to play sports. The thing is, Friday evening is usually the day when I have cell group (small church group) but as they had a leader's meeting, there was no cell. So one of the aunties book a lot of facilities in her condo and we went to play games there. I played squash for most of the time, got very sweaty, then went to the function room to eat and get cooled. I waited and waited, then finally got to play like 10-15 minutes of table tennis. It was fun though. After that went up to the auntie's house to eat some more and play some card games before going home.

Thought a bit about my music making. Realised I have to train more on my bass guitar. After all, I will probably be practising my euphonium like every weekday and I play the drums for my cell, but its the bass that I practice the least. I mean I can play all those rock songs where it is the same note every four counts, but what I like the bass for is because I like the jazz and funk improvs and riffs, which I still cannot do. Must practice larr... Anyway I realised that what I learnt about music in cell and what I learned in band can be used interchangeably. Like when playing mordern songs in band I noe stuff like transposing and prechorus that stuff quite cool actually.

Bye!

reflections

2008-09-04T17:15:00.000+08:00

Haix... it's day 4 of the holidays and most of my stuff remained uncompleted, namely the projects...

Anyway the good thing about the holidays is that it's given me some time to relax, watch tv, use com... etc. What's even better is that these things are starting to get boring, leading me to waste my time in other ways, the most important one being reflecting (homework's second).

Looking at what my life has been this year, I would summarize it as responsibility. I guess it started off with me being a prefect at the end of last year. Apart from all the fun things you get to do in PB, I guess being a prefect has made me even more thoughtful of my actions and has given me more work to do. Looking back at me last year, I have definitely become a better rafflesian.

Apart from PB, I realised that I have become more responsible in my family. It started out with helping my mum do some work, then as I became more money conscious, I decided that I would walk home by myself if I could instead of asking my parents to fetch me. Come to think of it, I have been walking home by myself for the whole of term 3 (apart from those cases where I was picked up from the mrt station). Looking back, not only did I save a lot of money for my parents, I also strengthened friendships with the people I would take the mrt with, mainly my mates from band.

Speaking of band reminds me that just one week and one day ago, I was presented with a position that has given me the most responsibility I had so far, i.e. DBM of RIMB. React (and all the stuff after that) was a good example of all the extra work I have to put in, but what I take from these experiences are priceless. The friends, the music, I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

The holidays so far

2008-09-03T19:09:00.000+08:00

Nows Wednesday, and the only things so far has been Band, Com and Homework. So many issues in band now, from section stuff to lose face stuff... well I guess since we have already taken over its up to my batch to solve all these issues. In terms of homework managed to do some but still quite a lot left... At least this holiday seeems better than the previous two ones, witht he exception of the Japan trip...

post 1

2008-09-03T18:49:00.000+08:00

Hey decided to start a blog cos i was bored